You would be surprised at how many people saw the United states flag flying over the bank, and came in to mail letters, buy stamps, ask for a pay phone, or use the rest rooms. Some even had the nerve to take a cup of coffee with them!
A hundred miles north of us is an indian reservation, and on this indian reservation is a gambling casino.
Coon from down at work would go to this casino every, week end, and come to work on Monday morning bragging that he had made a hundred dollars, or five hundred dollars, or a thousand. If he came to work on a Monday morning and didn't say anything about going to the casino, you knew that Montezuma had gotten his revenge.
The casino had gotten all it's money back and Coon's also!
When I was in the Air Force, it was go, go, go all the time. I worked at all hours of the day and night. I flew on airplanes at all hours of the day and night. They sent me to work in other places so many times, that even now I don't know where I was at in a given month of a given year. I lived out of a suitcase, that when I got home, was unpacked long enough to get everything cleaned and then was repacked so it would be ready for the next trip.
I slept in so many strange beds and strange places that I was just as comfortable sleeping on the floor with my suitcase as a pillow as I was sleeping in a bed. I ate so much strange food in so many strange places that my standard order became a burger with fries and coke, so that I knew what I was getting to eat, and even then I sometimes wondered.
When I flew on the last airplane, back from the last trip, and unpacked my bag for the last time where I could sleep in my own bed, and eat home cooked food
I thought to myself, it feels so good to be home, I'm never going to leave again.
But when the wife is nagging and ragging, and things aren't going well at work
I find that I miss the Air Force, because it sure would be nice to take even a short trip!
Another thing I missed about the Air Force is that you would work, work, work,
and then all of a sudden you found everything caught up one day, and you would say
to hell with this place! I'm going to take the afternoon off and go have a beer.
In November, even the farmers complained about the lack of rain, and they needed dry fields to harvest their crops. On the first of December, it rained one inch and the construction companies said "Winter is here!", and put away their equipment for the year. The town put salt spreaders and snow plows on their trucks.
The merchants said "Santa's coming", played "Jingle Bells", and advertised coats, boots, shovels, and long handled underwear.
Christmas trees grew overnight on every corner, vacant lot and available space
as Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Brownies, and everybody else tried to make a dollar off christmas.
The weatherman said "storm coming in three day!", and it went to the north.
Again "storm in three days!", and it went south.
People complained about the cool wind, but we had bright sunny days with few clouds, light breezes, and temperatures in the mid forties to mid fifties.
I think I could handle this type of winter year round!
I'm a heavy smoker, and when I was a security guard, my car would get pretty rank.
I sprayed it one morning, and walked in the door of the bank as the teller was unlocking. She told me I smelled good, and I told her it was "eau-de-air freshener".
My wife and i were fighting and arguing and not getting along very well. I got off work and went to the bar for a quick beer. I took one drink and a county mountie pulled up in front of the bar. The officer got out of the car and walked to the front door. I, and three other guys ran out the back door. It turned out he was just there to collect money for a charity.
Some people call this avoidance of the law, "Separation Trepidation". Others call it "Dear Fear"!
I was out in the tonkey-honk one day working on the, toad and I saw a stranger pull up in front of the house. he got out of the car, pulled out a tape measure and started going around the house.
I went up front and asked him what he was doing, and he showed me his identification card and explained that he was from the tax assessor's office and that he was sent to measure all the houses in my neighborhood.
I asked him why, since the plans for my house had been on file for seventy five years?
He explained that he was measuring for additions, decks, and sheds which had never been put on the tax rolls.
I knew some people that worked in the court house, so I talked with him for a while, hoping that he would give me some sort of break on my house.
He went about his business, and I went back to the tonkey-honk. Before he left, he stopped by to say goodbye. He also told me that I should expect my taxes to go up.
I just looked at him and told him they normally did every couple of years.
When I got the evaluation assessment on the house, I thought the guy had done me a favor because it dropped a thousand dollars.
When i got the tax bill, it went up a hundred dollars!
Another tax assessor came to my house to assess the value of the inside of my house and I managed to deflect him out to the tonkey-honk away from the basement.
While I was showing him my shop, he saw my old telephone, and I sold it to him for twenty five dollars. I had paid a dollar for it at a yard sale!
There was a squirrel that lived in the big tree in my front yard. When my dog Scratch was out in the yard, and the squirrel was out of it's nest, Scratch would run around the tree, jumping and barking at the squirrel, and the squirrel would run around the branches of the tree, chattering and barking at Scratch.
One summer day, I was sitting in the livingroom with the front door open, and I saw the squirrel out and hopping on the lawn, while Scratch was sitting quietly on the front stairs watching.
The squirrel made a complete circuit of the tree digging here and there, and then went over to the fence hopped back and forth a couple of times, and then finally jumped through the fence. Scratch went after that squirrel barking and howling as if he were going to tear the squirrel's head off.
Now it could be that scratch and that squirrel had became friends and they just played tag around the tree, but more than likely, Scratch had caught that squirrel and the squirrel won the fight!
The owner of the town pharmacy had vanity plates on his car that said:
DRUGLORD
My wife loved flowers and plants. She had flowers and flower beds all around the outside of our house. Inside she had house plants in the basement, bedrooms, livingroom, and diningroom. She even had one in the bathroom to tickle my butt when I backed away from the stool. I'm just glad it wasn't a cactus!
I had a late night, and the next day, business at the bank where I was standing security guard was dead with no customers.
I took it as long as I could and then went to the head teller and told her I was bored stiff and falling asleep. "Do you have anything I can do? I'll clean, tear up papers, fold papers, collate papers, staple papers, anything at all."
She shook her head and said, "Business has been so dead, I don't have anything for my staff to do besides twiddle their thumbs!"
When my son was coming up on his sixteenth birthday, he asked to talk with me, and then tried to debate with me the benefits of buying a new car, over a late model used car with low mileage. I let him go for a while, and then debated with him the benefits of a high mileage older car over nothing at all, depending upon who financed and paid the insurance on it!
