Lawyer Jokes
Original Jokes Wit and Humor
Lawyer Jokes Dumb Lawyer Jokes Jokes about lawyers Dumb Jokes about Lawyers
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A man was charged with stealing a Ferrari, and after a long trial, the jury
acquitted him. Later that day he came back to the judge who had presided at
the hearing.
"Your honor," he said, "I want you to issue a warrant of arrest for that
dirty lawyer of mine."
"Why?" asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him
arrested for?"
"Well, your honor," the man replied, "I didn't have the money to pay his
fee, so he went and took the car I stole!"
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A witness to a car crash kept saying things like, "I think the light was
yellow," or, "I think it was still raining."
The cross-examining lawyer interrupted, derisively saying, "We don't really
care what you think. What do you know?"
The harried witness paused for a moment and then replied, "I guess I may as
well leave the witness stand, then. Since I'm not a lawyer, I can't talk
without thinking."
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Policeman testifies in Court If you ever testify in court, you might wish
you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined
by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to
undermine the policeman's credibility....
Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?" A: "No sir. But I
subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender,
running several blocks away."
Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?" A: "The officer who responded
to the scene."
Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do
you trust your fellow officers?"
A: "Yes, sir. With my life."
Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room
where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?" A: "Yes
sir, we do! "
Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?" A: "Yes sir, I do."
Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?" A: "Yes sir."
Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your
life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with
these same officers?"
A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and
sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."
The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
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