I'm a Brown Collar Worker
No Coffee, No Workee!
bcvs1
Ten Dollars
You can tell that it's a Blue Collar worker that comes to a bank in a brand new car with a dealer's license plate, and carrying a baggy with ten dollars worth of change to cash in for gas money.
A White Collar worker would give the change to his kids and charge the gas on his credit card.
A Brown Collar worker not only doesn't get far enough ahead to buy a new car, he can't even collect ten dollars worth of change.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
bcvs2
Encyclopedia
A White Collar worker would say that he bought an encyclopedia at a book store for two thousand dollars and got a children's encyclopedia and ten years of up-dates for free.
A Blue Collar worker would say that he bought an encyclopedia at a discount store for only one thousand dollars.
A Brown Collar worker would say he bought a children's encyclopedia set at a yard sale for ten dollars and they made him take the rest of the set, including ten years of up-dates.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
bcvs3
Cellular Telephones
A White Collar worker says that for only one hundred dollars a month, he gets a thousand minutes of cellular service and two telephones.
A Blue Collar worker says that he gets a phone and five hundred minutes of cellular service for fifty dollars a month.
A Brown Collar worker asks why in the hell does he need cellular service. There is a telephone sitting at home. He doesn't have time to talk when he's working. He sure isn't going to waste his break or lunch time talking on a telephone. And he goes to the bar or fishing to get away from stupid telephone calls.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
bcvs4
Steak
When a White Collar worker eats out, he has Fillet Mignon steak.
When Blue Collar worker eats out, he has T-Bone steak.
When a Brown Collar worker eats out, he has Hamburger steak.
I will admit that when a steak is prepared properly, it is a delicious meal. But while I am not particular, I have eaten steak so rare, the cow must have been butchered just before the meat was put on the plate, steak so done, it was blacker than the pan in which it had been cooked, steak so tough, the cow must have been butchered with a chainsaw, and steak so fatty, the grease was running off the plate. Now when I go out to eat, I go for the hamburger or chicken, and let everybody else do the complaining!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
bcvs5
Loans
When a White Collar needs money, he goes to see his stock broker.
When a Blue Collar worker needs money, he goes to see his banker.
When a Brown Collar worker needs money, he goes to see his pawn broker.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
bcvs6
Five Dollars
It's the wife of a Blue Collar worker who drives to a bank in a twenty-five thousand dollar car, and walks in carrying a baggy with five dollars worth of change.
It's the wife of a Blue Collar worker, who upon learning that if you are not a member of the bank, there is a two dollar service charge for counting the change, storms out the door screaming "Assholes!"
The wife of a White Collar worker leaves more than that for tips.
The wife of a Brown Collar worker spends the change, and steals the five dollar bill from her husband.
I keep a dirty picture in my billfold with the money. I have to replace it every time, but I know immediately when my wife gets into my billfold. It's better than a burglar alarm, and noisier too!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
bcvs7
taxes
The White Collar Worker pays an Accountant to do his yearly taxes.
The Blue Collar Worker pays a tax specialist to do his yearly taxes.
The Brown Collar Worker pays himself to do his yearly taxes, and cheats more than the accountant and the tax specialist!
A friend calculated his taxes and found that he owed Uncle Sam One hundred twenty five dollars that he didn't have.
Instead of marking that he owed one hundred twenty five dollars, he marked for a refund of one hundred twenty five dollars, thinking that by the time they got the tax return processed, corrected, and notified him, he would have the money. He received a refund of one hundred twenty five dollars. He cashed the check and waited, but never heard any more.
The next year at tax time, he thought, and then marked for another refund, which he received.
This went on for five years, before the tax people caught him and he had to pay the tax, plus penalties and interest.
He said that was OK though, because Uncle Sam had paid him and his taxes for five years!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
bcvs8
Saint Pete
A White Collar, a Blue Collar, and Brown Collar Worker died and went to heaven. Saint Pete met them and told them that the pearly gates were broken, and he asked each how much it would cost to fix them and how long it would take.
The White Collar Worker went first.
"A thousand dollars, and it will take about three days to fix."
Saint Pete said, "That sounds reasonable."
Then the Blue Collar Worker.
"Five hundred dollars and I can do it in two days if I can get some help from the other two"
Saint Pete said, "I'll consider it."
Last came Brown Collar.
"I'll do it for nothing, right now if you'll send the other two to hell!"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
bcvs9
Lightbulb
How many Brown Collar Workers does it take to change a Lightbulb?
Two
One to change the bulb.
One to tell all the nitwits to stay way from the ladder!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
bcvs10
Parking
When a White Collar Worker goes shopping, he parks in the No Parking Zone at the curb because he is a busy man.
When a Blue Collar Worker goes shopping, he parks in the Handi-Capped Zone because he is only going to be a minute.
When a Brown Collar Worker goes shopping, he parks in the lot where he is supposed to, and laughs when the cops give the other two tickets.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Ten Dollars
You can tell that it's a Blue Collar worker that comes to a bank in a brand new car with a dealer's license plate, and carrying a baggy with ten dollars worth of change to cash in for gas money.
A White Collar worker would give the change to his kids and charge the gas on his credit card.
A Brown Collar worker not only doesn't get far enough ahead to buy a new car, he can't even collect ten dollars worth of change.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
bcvs2
Encyclopedia
A White Collar worker would say that he bought an encyclopedia at a book store for two thousand dollars and got a children's encyclopedia and ten years of up-dates for free.
A Blue Collar worker would say that he bought an encyclopedia at a discount store for only one thousand dollars.
A Brown Collar worker would say he bought a children's encyclopedia set at a yard sale for ten dollars and they made him take the rest of the set, including ten years of up-dates.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
bcvs3
Cellular Telephones
A White Collar worker says that for only one hundred dollars a month, he gets a thousand minutes of cellular service and two telephones.
A Blue Collar worker says that he gets a phone and five hundred minutes of cellular service for fifty dollars a month.
A Brown Collar worker asks why in the hell does he need cellular service. There is a telephone sitting at home. He doesn't have time to talk when he's working. He sure isn't going to waste his break or lunch time talking on a telephone. And he goes to the bar or fishing to get away from stupid telephone calls.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
bcvs4
Steak
When a White Collar worker eats out, he has Fillet Mignon steak.
When Blue Collar worker eats out, he has T-Bone steak.
When a Brown Collar worker eats out, he has Hamburger steak.
I will admit that when a steak is prepared properly, it is a delicious meal. But while I am not particular, I have eaten steak so rare, the cow must have been butchered just before the meat was put on the plate, steak so done, it was blacker than the pan in which it had been cooked, steak so tough, the cow must have been butchered with a chainsaw, and steak so fatty, the grease was running off the plate. Now when I go out to eat, I go for the hamburger or chicken, and let everybody else do the complaining!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
bcvs5
Loans
When a White Collar needs money, he goes to see his stock broker.
When a Blue Collar worker needs money, he goes to see his banker.
When a Brown Collar worker needs money, he goes to see his pawn broker.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
bcvs6
Five Dollars
It's the wife of a Blue Collar worker who drives to a bank in a twenty-five thousand dollar car, and walks in carrying a baggy with five dollars worth of change.
It's the wife of a Blue Collar worker, who upon learning that if you are not a member of the bank, there is a two dollar service charge for counting the change, storms out the door screaming "Assholes!"
The wife of a White Collar worker leaves more than that for tips.
The wife of a Brown Collar worker spends the change, and steals the five dollar bill from her husband.
I keep a dirty picture in my billfold with the money. I have to replace it every time, but I know immediately when my wife gets into my billfold. It's better than a burglar alarm, and noisier too!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
bcvs7
taxes
The White Collar Worker pays an Accountant to do his yearly taxes.
The Blue Collar Worker pays a tax specialist to do his yearly taxes.
The Brown Collar Worker pays himself to do his yearly taxes, and cheats more than the accountant and the tax specialist!
A friend calculated his taxes and found that he owed Uncle Sam One hundred twenty five dollars that he didn't have.
Instead of marking that he owed one hundred twenty five dollars, he marked for a refund of one hundred twenty five dollars, thinking that by the time they got the tax return processed, corrected, and notified him, he would have the money. He received a refund of one hundred twenty five dollars. He cashed the check and waited, but never heard any more.
The next year at tax time, he thought, and then marked for another refund, which he received.
This went on for five years, before the tax people caught him and he had to pay the tax, plus penalties and interest.
He said that was OK though, because Uncle Sam had paid him and his taxes for five years!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
bcvs8
Saint Pete
A White Collar, a Blue Collar, and Brown Collar Worker died and went to heaven. Saint Pete met them and told them that the pearly gates were broken, and he asked each how much it would cost to fix them and how long it would take.
The White Collar Worker went first.
"A thousand dollars, and it will take about three days to fix."
Saint Pete said, "That sounds reasonable."
Then the Blue Collar Worker.
"Five hundred dollars and I can do it in two days if I can get some help from the other two"
Saint Pete said, "I'll consider it."
Last came Brown Collar.
"I'll do it for nothing, right now if you'll send the other two to hell!"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
bcvs9
Lightbulb
How many Brown Collar Workers does it take to change a Lightbulb?
Two
One to change the bulb.
One to tell all the nitwits to stay way from the ladder!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
bcvs10
Parking
When a White Collar Worker goes shopping, he parks in the No Parking Zone at the curb because he is a busy man.
When a Blue Collar Worker goes shopping, he parks in the Handi-Capped Zone because he is only going to be a minute.
When a Brown Collar Worker goes shopping, he parks in the lot where he is supposed to, and laughs when the cops give the other two tickets.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
|PAGE01|PAGE02|PAGE03|PAGE04|PAGE05|PAGE06|PAGE07|PAGE08|PAGE09|PAGE10|
|PAGE11|PAGE12|PAGE13|PAGE14|PAGE15|PAGE16|PAGE17|PAGE18|PAGE19|PAGE20|
|BROWNVSWHITEVSBLUE|10THINGS|OBSERVATIONS|PEOPLE_I_HATE|REDNECKS|
|DOPEYNITIONS||WOMEN_JOKES|LAWYER_JOKES|PRIEST_JOKES|MURPHYS_LAW|
|DIRTY_JOHNNY|OLD_AGE|FART_JOKES|POLICE_JOKES|OTHER_JOKES|WORDPLAY|